Etheree for Lance Berkman

Lance
Berkman.
A Yankee?
“Former Astro”
I choke on the words.
He asked to be traded
So it wasn’t a surprise.
He was my favorite Astro.
Now one  of the New York hometown ten;
Their new DH–batting two forty-five.

---

Okay, he’s not my favorite. But he’s my daughter’s favorite. She wrote a song or him when she was in kindergarten. It’s kind of weird to call him a “former Astro” which he is now.

An etheree is a syllable-count poem where each line has as many syllables as its line number, beginning at one and going to ten.

Good luck Lance. And Roy, too. Roy had a rough outing his first game with Philly bit J.A. Happ did well for the Astros. It’s nearly 6:30 am–I should be sleeping.

Renewal

So we begin to practice all our drills,
Preparing minds and bodies to play ball.
Refining and remastering our skills,
In hopes that we’ll be champions, come fall.
No time like now to get things underway.
Good fortune favors those whose hearts are sure.
The will, it’s said, will always find a way,
Remaining strong, till victory’s secure.
Aspiring to upset our rival teams,
Indelibly we plan to leave our mark.
Not resting till we realize our dreams,
Ignited by an incandescent spark.
Nor would we idly lie about and wait
Gratuity’s no attribute of fate.

---

In BTH (my simulation baseball role-playing league) we just finished the 2026 regular season with playoffs starting tonight. In the meantime, i have players who won’t be in the post-season and so I’m working on stuff I can post for credit next season.

This is an acrostic sonnet. It was a lot of work and a lot of fun.

A Team Meeting

We had a little meeting, only players were allowed.
We didn’t want to air our dirty laundry for a crowd.
We closed the door and locked it, to make sure no one got in.
Then talked about the reasons why the home team couldn’t win.

The outfield blamed the infield, ’cause they let some balls get through.
The infield blamed the catchers, ’cause they told them what to do.
The catchers said the pitchers wouldn’t throw the pitch they’d call.
The pitchers said it’s not their fault, although they have the ball.

With blame and fingerpointing and excuses all around
It took a good long time before the problem could be found.
It wasn’t any one of us, but we each had a part.
We know that we can’t fix it quick, but we can make a start.

Each one of us must step it up and not wait for the rest.
The team can only function well if we all give our best.

---

I have never played baseball. So this is just a guess as to what this sort of thing is like.

This will sound lame, but I’m in a baseball role-playing league. I have four players, one of whom is on a team that’s struggling. This sonnet is about that team, which is the Cancun Horror. They aren’t the worst team in the league or even in their division. But many players are under-performing their ability ratings. And if it were a real team, this might be the sort of reason why it was going down that way.

To learn how to play the league, go to the Rookie Handbook on the league forum and check it out.

Pillow Talk

Pillow
waiting for me
I reach, stretching my arms
Firmly grounding my weary self
I’m out

I’m safe
Though it’s not home
I rest on the pillow
Knowing home is not far away
Breathe deep

---

While listening to the Astros radio broadcasts, it’s not unusual to hear a base referred to as a “pillow”. So I thought about how bases and pillows are alike.

And I thought about the guy going hands-first into third base, thinking that he wasn’t quick enough but discovering he’s safe.

This is a pair of cinquains. You can see the syllable pattern.

Strike ‘im Out Johnny

Fire that fastball over the plate
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!
Radar gun says it hit ninety-eight
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!

Refrain

And it’s one-two-three, strike ‘im out Johnny!
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!
And it’s one-two-three, strike ‘im out Johnny!
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!

Throw him that splitter, drop it on down
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!
He says he checked, but he went around
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!

Refrain

Remember to throw ‘im that four-seamer high
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!
No one can hit it but they always try
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!

Refrain

He swings and he gets a small piece of it
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!
A foul tip into our own catcher’s mitt
Strike ‘im out Johnny, strike ‘im out, hey!

Refrain

---

This is a pitching shanty. It’s based on the sea shanties that sailors would sing as they did the group-work on the ship. They’re work-songs basically, designed to keep everyone in synch.

Listen to it here. Standard disclaimers apply.

14 Lines

They take two minutes when we take the field,
And when we come back to the dugout, too.
Yet, you don’t wish to have that fact revealed
Because of what the fans might think of you.

The sponsors want that time to sell their stuff,
It’s how the game is funded, we all know.
You told the public we’re not fast enough,
And said the “pace of game” is much too slow.

There is no member of the pitching staff
Who needs that long to take his warmup throws.
And sometimes, it’s two minutes and a half,
You could give them more tosses, I suppose.

I think you should be honest with the fans
Instead of wasting time on pacing plans.

---

DISCLAIMER: This is based on Morgan Ensberg’s latest blog about Bud Selig and “pace of game”. The ideas are his, the words are mine and if there’s any mistake in my poetic translation, charge me with the error.

The title comes from the fact that Morgan wore #14 and they’re his lines, while this is also an English sonnet and 14 lines long.  This is in addition to any baseball interpretation one might wish to put on it.

This whole idea of speeding up the game seems to me to be a way of shrinking the time between commercials. That’s just me. Pitchers should be allowed to regroup and batters to step out and prepare for the pitch. I’ve never played baseball but there are many situations where I want a moment to compose myself before stepping up and doing what was necessary.

Now, I have to have another disclaimer: I don’t like Bud Selig. I don’t like interleague play. I think he should have gotten off the schneid about PEDs and a couple other things.

But baseball is not boring if you watch it right.

A Trio of Triolets

Ubaldo Jimenez

I didn’t give the Braves a single hit
It wasn’t something I set out to do
My teammates are responsible for it
I didn’t give the Braves a single hit
It wasn’t till the seventh that I knew
I had a chance to pitch the whole game through
I didn’t give the Braves a single hit
It wasn’t something I set ou to do

---

Yadier Molina

I played for twenty innings yesterday
A standard game is just nine innings long
We were the losers much to my dismay
I played for twenty innings yesterday
Another game is scheduled for today
I never realized I was so strong
I played for twenty innings yesterday
A standard game is just nine innings long

---

Dissed Astros

The Astros lost eight games before they won
I hope they’re not too many games behind
Three times they didn’t even score a run
The Astros lost eight games before they won
Losing streaks are never any fun
Of late the roster has been much maligned
The Astros lost eight games before they won
I hope they’re not too many games behind

---

Yesterday the challenge-of-the-day was to write a triolet about events that happened within the last two months. So I wrote about the Astros losing streak. But then I listened to the last half of a 20-inning game and heard about a no-no. So I had to write about those as well.

I have a weakness for the Molina brothers and catchers in general. Yadier Molina caught all twenty innings. He even went 3-for-9. Not to diss Pujols or the others who played all twenty and lost. I’m just amazed at Molina’s strength because he saw more wear-and-tear than anyone–especially having to catch two non-pitchers.

Meanwhile, in Atlanta, Ubaldo Jimenez no-hit the Braves. Sure I got mobile alerts but I was too busy to check them, listening to the antics of the Mets/Cardinals game. It wasn’t until the 9th that the Mets broadcasters announced the possibility. Lets go Mets!

And the triolet that started it all. Teams survive 8-game losing streaks in the middle of seasons, why not at season’s start? I hope they aren’t too many games back to come out looking respectable by the end of the season.

Felipe Paulino – 16 April 2010

I pitched six innings, gave up only one.
Yes, it was me–their only run was earned.
Yet in the seventh, it all came undone,
Left three men on and I was badly burned.

It isn’t that I don’t know how to pitch
But things did not turn out the way I planned.
I batted for myself, no double-switch
And stretched it out too far and lost command.

When I came back, they got one on the board.
A double-double, two walks back to back.
Of course, those runners came around and scored.
And all because I’d gotten out of whack.

I don’t know why they let me pitch so long,
When everyone could tell there’s something wrong.

---

I watched most of yesterday’s game at a wing place, noshing on all-you-can-eat wings. Then I went home and heard the rest on the radio (my TV is busted–buy my book so I can get a new one).

This is about my impression of what it would be like to be Paulino. No, I didn’t talk to him or anything, and don’t have his actual perspective. That’s as close to a disclaimer as you’ll get.

Back on Track

When you feel over-rated and you don’t know what to do
Remember that it’s just a slump and you will pull on through
There aren’t very many who can play as well as you
Just thirty teams of twenty-five and you’re among the few

You will be hitting well again, no longer out of whack
But even while you struggle now, your teammates have your back
They’re here for you and rest assured they will pick up your slack

Be open to what can be learned from others’ points of view
Don’t copy someone else’s moves, your style must be true

Just play the way you’ve always played and you’ll get back on track.

---

This isn’t about any one person; it’s more about the idea of what it’s like to feel that you’re underachieving. Especially if you’ve been doing well previously and then hit a bump in the road.

I think this s a feeling that we all can sympathize with. Not getting it done and not knowing exactly what the trouble is. For poets and writers, we call it writer’s block. For me, playing he way I’ve always played involves finding a prompt or challenge and trying to write to spec in my own style. This is the origin of a couple of the pieces here.

Other times, I’ll have an idea and not be able to find the right words. Then I take an established form like an etheree or sonnet and make up stuff until I find the key that unlocks it. Yesterday’s piece was like that, although you can’t tell because it broke free of its mold.

The form of this poem is … I’m not sure it has a name. I thought about shaped poems like the etheree and wondered if you could do something like that with stanzas.

ESPN Moblie Alerts

Another etheree.

Beep
A text
Coming from
ESPN
Another run scored
For the opposing team.
This gets old very quickly.
So I went and reset the alerts.
Now when the Astros are losing
I only have to read about it once.

---

I thought it would be cool to be notified of every run scored. But not while you’re watching the carnage unfold on TV. I’m not going to bemoan the fact that the Astros looked really bad against guys like Lincecum. The point is, before the end of the opener, I got tired of the constant reminder of the Giants’ ability to score runs.

So I went to the alert page and told it I only wanted game start and game final. And the Astros still lost.   And continue to lose.  It wasn’t till last night that they had their first lead even.

The lead lasted less time than my every-run-scored alert lasted on Opening Day.