Etheree for Lance Berkman

Lance
Berkman.
A Yankee?
“Former Astro”
I choke on the words.
He asked to be traded
So it wasn’t a surprise.
He was my favorite Astro.
Now one  of the New York hometown ten;
Their new DH–batting two forty-five.

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Okay, he’s not my favorite. But he’s my daughter’s favorite. She wrote a song or him when she was in kindergarten. It’s kind of weird to call him a “former Astro” which he is now.

An etheree is a syllable-count poem where each line has as many syllables as its line number, beginning at one and going to ten.

Good luck Lance. And Roy, too. Roy had a rough outing his first game with Philly bit J.A. Happ did well for the Astros. It’s nearly 6:30 am–I should be sleeping.

Oswalt is Dealt

They traded Roy Oswalt, who’s one of my favorites,
A could-have-been-franchise but he asked to leave.
While I understand it, I don’t have to like it–
I may be unhappy but I’m not naive.

They brought us a pitcher who spent the year injured.
How well he’s recovered, we don’t really know.
Tonight he’ll be facing the Brew-crew in Houston–
I guess we’ll discover how well he can throw.

I’m not too impressed with the minor-league shortstop,
Whose forty-two errors just boggled my mind.
The number’s so high that it’s not on the website.
An empty placeholder is all that you’ll find.

In Triple-A Round Rock you’ll see the first baseman,
Though they say Lance Berkman has nothing to fear.
The kid bats three hundred to Berkman’s two-fifty.
So who’ll be the starting first-baseman next year?

The deal’s completed and some folks are happy.
And others complain that the Astros were had.
But good play erases a lot of bad feelings,
And if they start winning, the fans will be glad.

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Roy Oswalt was traded for J.A. Happ and two minor-leaguers. One Of the minor-leaguers was swapped with the Jays. So the Astros have Happ, a shortstop named Jonathan Villar (who really did make 42 errors, Matt Thomas said so on 790 the Sports Animal) and Brett Wallace, the future first baseman for the Astros.

According to the Minor League Baseball Wallace is hitting .301 for the Las Vegas 51’s though he’s now listed with the Round Rock Express where he’ll be preparing for his new role. Berkman, according to astros.com is batting .245. Now I realize that Wallace is in AAA, but ya gotta figure that even adjusted that’s better than Berkman.

Now, about Villar and the 42 errors. Click here and see the stats for the Lexington Legends–Villar’s new team. Notice the error column. There is a space for Villars’ errors. Not a 0, not a 42, a space.  Matt Thomas don’t lie so I know what number should be there.  And that’s for this season, folks.  In 100 (not rounded) games.  That’s almost one every other game.

I’m really not as down on Happ as the song implies. He just hasn’t pitched much and only one game since he got back from injury. So the Astros are getting a pig in a poke.  He was a contender for Rookie of the Year, but I don’t know that being first among seconds is a sufficient recommendation.

I think good play erases bad feelings and it’s entirely possible that this turns out to be a good thing for the Astros. But only time will tell.

The Guy with the Slider

In to close, bringing the heat
Brad Lidge throws in the 90s
Philly fans are all up on their feet
Want to see him record the last outs

Thinking heat, what do they do?
Take their swing much too early
But Lidge comes in with the breaking stuff too
‘Cause the heater’s not what he’s about

CHORUS:
He’s the guy with the slider
Watch the arc of the flight
Darting down as the hitter is retired
With the top of their lineup
In to face him tonight
And they whiff when they’re facing the guy
With the slider

Batter up, stand at the plate
Bradley throws him a heater
No longer early, now his swing is too late
And it’s strike three and he sits back down

CHORUS:

Got it done, finished the game
Got the save and the glory
In the future, they’ll remember his name
As a man in the pitching elite

CHORUS:

The guy with the slider  (repeat)

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I actually wrote this awhile ago but am posting it now. It’s to the tune of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” and Dave Weingart, who was the filk guest of honor at ApolloCon this year said it was “brilliant”. I’m not sure about that, but I really enjoyed writing it.